Blissful separation of body and mind

14th January 2016, Thursday, New Delhi

Transcend the fear

14th Jan 2016, New Delhi

Fear and Power and two coincided forces that runs our lives. Each one rules over the other and each fuels each other. 

Anonymity of happiness

25th December 2015, Bengaluru

Since my few days in this city of lakes makes me wonder if the city is so carefree and happy or it is just my state of mind. Feeling free and happy seemed like a passe to me since past few years. This is the first vacation i gifted to myself to this city far from any reach of NCR. Each day i try to live my own, explore the city, find joys in small things, walk for miles, shop till i drop and so what my heart says till my feet aches. Each day i get lost in a new part of the city and then i find myself. The warm sunshine nurtured and cool evening breeze caressed me. It felt the city reciprocated the love i carried for it.

I felt like love again..a fairytale story. But with no prince.. Only a princess who want to fly..to dance..to laugh and to be happy. And the princess found her wings in this city.. and everything she liked was here. She was wondering if the wings was something she has been missing for so long..!! no one was there to keep an eye on her, to poke fingers to her and to judge..judge her actions, reactions and happiness. It felt free.. free from all strings.. being anonymous in a city. It gave so much of happiness that filled completely. being anonymous gave so much of happiness..so much. I kept on wondering if getting merged in a place is so beautiful, then why people want come in limelight..be popular.. !!

Just wish today that this city calls me again..now for quite a longer duration.. to heal me and give me peace. AMEN !   

Pulse 2015: What we will write about this year

December 31, 2015; Bangalore

At the end of every year we take out time to reflect and review. Although the process goes year and year on with the conclusion that life goes on and on. struggle and perseverance is the only truths of life. Each year we make resolutions and each year tend to break them for other priorities in life. we say life goes on., but yet don't live. We keep on running for things that we don't want in life., that does not brings happiness or satisfaction. Yet, we run after them. We loose our sleep,appetite, health and happiness. In search of happiness and security we keep on going far from it. We label our happiness for fat pay, big car, big house and a fat bank balance, disillusioning ourselves each and every time.

Such an year 2015 has been. In search of internal calling, happiness and peace. Some unanswered questions and a piercing pain in heart. A very long journey it seemed, every day and hour counted. Every day it felt like to withdraw and everyday it surrendered to another day. Whether it was dreams, disillusions or the struggle of fate, life moved on. Silently moved on to day by day till the end. Strength was tested, illusions broken, questions answered and many more created. It was surrendering to life, defeated..barefoot.. on the grounds of reality and self realization. Some accounts needs to be closed and for some closure process need to start. Wondering what it should be called..? Yet there was was peace inside for god was still there. Still holding my hand.. and it reassured that the path is truthful and i have not moved to deceit. With this, i sleep peacefully in the late hours of 2015 waiting for the next sunrise.  

You will leave my hands after I learn to walk..

5^th October 2015; Monday, Kanwarpura village

Kar na moh, pathik hoon mein akela..

Chalta jaa raha hoon, na ghar na basera

"you wont come back after your work is finished.. you will forget us too.. and never would remember us.. no one has ever come to us..to ask about us... " she swallowed a gulp and her voice was choking up. This was just after a single day spent with her, shadowing her through the village trying to understand her work and challenges. "No one ever came .. " and whenever they came they came with a purpose, not to ask what you do..how you do.. and how you exceed the work that is originally assigned to you.. a day build you so much of faith, confidence and bonding that they want me to come to home, have food, join in their festivals.. and more. On my way back i was wondering how these ASHA's strive with minimal or no motivation at all, still working towards ensuring a better healthcare for the villagers. Or is it a common with all people working in the govt sector..!! Their inner zeal dies a silent death by lack of nourishment of kind words and motivation. An then it makes me ask myself..would we be able to give smiles to the strained faces.

Whom to call for Action..?

8^th October 2015; Wednesday, Dungri village

More than a decade ago, a program from Bill & Melinda gates foundation announced the call to action for HIV/AIDS in India and took a leap to emerge as the biggest program ever in whole Asia in the field of health. The success of the program was not in educating people for safe practices or to prevent HIV, but the most human centric approach and a sharp eye on related factors. “They already knew what was unsafe and how to prevent. The problem was violence and once it was tackled, the program become viral” and rest was known to all, AVAHAN made history.

 When today I have gone to the field to understand maternal and child health to a village untouched by any modern means, I knew I am not teaching a woman what to do for her and her children for a better health. Mothers by instinct know how to take care of her children, so seeing a malnutrition child makes me wonder about the struggle of the woman. While I was speaking to the woman about her malnourished child and feeding practices, inside I could feel the helplessness of the mother who even don’t have a single bread in her house to feed the crying child. I felt myself in the poorest state who don’t have anything to offer to take this child from hunger to health. The setting sun sparkled and I thought of a time when god’s blessing will be bestowed on this little child and we will have hands strong to take the child to sunrise of health & happiness.