Kyunki Saas bhi…. bahu thi

While taking my evening walk I come across a lot of female folk of my neighborhood as it’s the walking and talking time for them. Saas-Bahu being the prime issue of discussion, as all of them is either a saas or bahu. They had their varied views and experiences to share. I am just a spectator to their soap operas kind of stories as I belong to none of the characters yet. I respect and friendly with both saas and bahu I agree in totality with both of their pains and insecurities. The understanding is more so because I have a varied circle of six-to-sixty age group of people and got some rare opportunity to when they shared their heart with me.
This made me remember the time I was talking to my friend’s mother when her first son was getting married. She showed me with real enthusiasm all the shopping she did for Bride-to-be. She made it sure that everything is of best quality and taste. Though she was as exited as any mother could be on her son’s wedding, she had her share of fears also as it reflected in her words when she said hope so everything is goes fine and she adjusts into the family with ease. Behind her words goes the insecurity of a mother whose ‘little boys’ focus of life will soon be shifted towards his wife completely or more than her that had been their since so many years. To add to it, it also includes fear of splitting apart the bindings with the family which she had put her best efforts to keep it together into one unit. This is really a difficult period for her to go through and more so it turns into a soar experience if it takes the shape reality afterwards.
The other side of it came to me when my own friend was getting married. Her pre-marriage blues of adjusting in a new family, compatibility issues with her hubby-to-be, changing her lifestyle, habits and what-not were added by the insecurity of her acceptance in her new family as hers is an inter-caste love marriage. Though her to-be family members are there together to combat the fear, she was feeling all alone among them to prove her mettle and make her point. Competing with the adarsh (perfect) bahu image of Tulsi-Parvati from the daily soaps in the minds of today’s In-Laws, hers was a great challenge ahead. She had to go through a complete life transformation with the guidelines prescribed by Ekta kapur.
The gap between the both can only be bridged my their mutual understanding, their respect and love for each other, Alongwith the traditions and most importantly understanding each other’s needs and space requirement to make the relationship a one to cherish over the years they have to be together. As it is always said a life filled with laughter and happiness is goes a long way than one filled with agony. So why choose the later, when a little effort can make it into a beautiful one. As it is said Saas bhi kabhi.. bahu thi …, the reverse will be the future for bahu too.

The K factor

My mother has a habit of consulting some astrologers regarding various issues, and also religiously following the advise given by them. Though she is not much superstitious but still she reasons it out as if it can do some goof then there’s no harm in following some measures and advises. On the similar lines she had been told to remove the “K” from the alphabet list of our house, namely the Kala (black) color and the same color cloths and to be cautious from the people with their names starting from “K”. This forcibly debarred us from wearing anything formal black color which included my dad favorite suit in black color and also put a ban on my buying the much waited sari in black. And as that was not enough she started all the guests with suspicion whose name starts with k. when being objected to her fear of the k-factor she advocates as not being superstitious but just safeguarding us from evil. Safeguarding Huh!! I believe that someone had brainwashed her. Hasn’t she heard about the much lucky k-factor used by many directors and especially the in her much favorite Ekta kapoor’s soap operas. In the media industry its considered to be the lucky alphabet whether be it Rakesh Roshan’s kaho na…, koyla etc or Karan johar’s kuch-kuch…, kabhi khushi…, kal ho na… or our much favorite Ekta kapoor’s daily soap operas like kyonki, kahani, kkusum, kabi aaye na.. etc etc the list is really long but they all starting with K. It is rather notable that her earlier serials were not such a big success as of today’s K-soap operas which are considered as the milestone of her fame and made her the Telly-Quenn of today. The more K in it, the more successful it becomes on screen. The obsession with K is so much that people start adding more k’s in their name considering it a success factor and the characters are also named with k as in kkashish, karan, kkusum, kali, kumud with list being endless. This make me wonder that if this k-factor is so powerful then people should start naming their children with K as the beginning the moment they are born in this fast growing world of media and entertainment which promises the fame and success at large. Well if it’s so great in this field so it can of cource have some magical powers everywhere. Hope my mom is listening… Kyonki … Kal ho na ho !