Few Years...Live.. or Leave

I always get this strange feeling that my life is short. Short enough not to reach to the old age of many broken teeths, stooping on cane stick and being dependent on anyone for the basics. At a age I am at present I don't count in young nor middle aged and not even old. It is a very strange phase of life when you feel like nowhere. Age seems to be taking on you and you realize that 12 working hours and beyond is making you really fatigued. You need rest after each 4 hours period and is loosing the capacity to digest any food. 

This mid or say nowhere times is also harder, as to every time you want to take a sabbatical from work and when you get a few days of rest in name of holidays..boredom starts to creep in. You want action in your life. The increasing waistline pushes you to do exercise and stay fit., but the day long fatigue says you need rest to give your body machinery a rest. Ohhhfff..a terrible time. 

Many times I want to take you something creative, something that will give peace to my soul and nourish my heart. But alas the mechanical world does not leave me. Neither does it let me go any further. Not to the nest step..nor to the resting cottage. 

I have lived my life pretty satisfactorily and rarely got any regrets. Had wishes and goals which I accomplished and kept moving ahead. But the years coming now..with no ambitions, goals for professional and personal life, I feel aimless. Tired for a new challenge., which keeps telling me..do I live like this..or should I leave this boring life and look for some excitement away from this land... still brooding.