Kyunki Saas bhi…. bahu thi

While taking my evening walk I come across a lot of female folk of my neighborhood as it’s the walking and talking time for them. Saas-Bahu being the prime issue of discussion, as all of them is either a saas or bahu. They had their varied views and experiences to share. I am just a spectator to their soap operas kind of stories as I belong to none of the characters yet. I respect and friendly with both saas and bahu I agree in totality with both of their pains and insecurities. The understanding is more so because I have a varied circle of six-to-sixty age group of people and got some rare opportunity to when they shared their heart with me.
This made me remember the time I was talking to my friend’s mother when her first son was getting married. She showed me with real enthusiasm all the shopping she did for Bride-to-be. She made it sure that everything is of best quality and taste. Though she was as exited as any mother could be on her son’s wedding, she had her share of fears also as it reflected in her words when she said hope so everything is goes fine and she adjusts into the family with ease. Behind her words goes the insecurity of a mother whose ‘little boys’ focus of life will soon be shifted towards his wife completely or more than her that had been their since so many years. To add to it, it also includes fear of splitting apart the bindings with the family which she had put her best efforts to keep it together into one unit. This is really a difficult period for her to go through and more so it turns into a soar experience if it takes the shape reality afterwards.
The other side of it came to me when my own friend was getting married. Her pre-marriage blues of adjusting in a new family, compatibility issues with her hubby-to-be, changing her lifestyle, habits and what-not were added by the insecurity of her acceptance in her new family as hers is an inter-caste love marriage. Though her to-be family members are there together to combat the fear, she was feeling all alone among them to prove her mettle and make her point. Competing with the adarsh (perfect) bahu image of Tulsi-Parvati from the daily soaps in the minds of today’s In-Laws, hers was a great challenge ahead. She had to go through a complete life transformation with the guidelines prescribed by Ekta kapur.
The gap between the both can only be bridged my their mutual understanding, their respect and love for each other, Alongwith the traditions and most importantly understanding each other’s needs and space requirement to make the relationship a one to cherish over the years they have to be together. As it is always said a life filled with laughter and happiness is goes a long way than one filled with agony. So why choose the later, when a little effort can make it into a beautiful one. As it is said Saas bhi kabhi.. bahu thi …, the reverse will be the future for bahu too.